sometimes i get the feeling i can't really drive. i'm just cruising on my instincts.

today i'm going to talk about two very important people in my life right now. these two guys are my driving instructors, tall burnished men who are okay-looking (perhaps some girls might even be moved to call them cute o_O). i guess i'm quite lucky to have these relatively young men (as opposed to old fogies who would be as lethargic as i am)to provide me with quite enough entertainment when i go for lessons...

let's start off with alex, because he was the first guy who took me on. alex is the more relaxed of the two, though of late he has started getting cheekier and more explicit in his expressions of frustration at my lousy driving. today alone produced around 4 exclamations of "I want to KILL myself already!" whenever I struck or kissed the kerb with my wayward tyres. the previous lesson, he went a bit crazy, and started trying to distract me by pointing out various driving instructors in other cars while i was trying desperately to concentrate on my vertical parking technique.

alex: hey hey! look at that instructor over there!
me: *grunts distractedly* uh-huh where... can't see lar the shadow of the tree is blocking him..
alex: ok wait, wait.... there! handsome right!
me: nooo... (turns my head to look at pole behind while inching very carefully backward)
alex: haha i bet you cannot park already... he's so distracting right?
me: haha. (parks perfectly)
alex: (checks to see the distancing between both kerbs) hey! not bad! great!
me: yaaaay....

yeah. and another conversation between me and him went somewhat like this:

alex: hey you know the most eligible and handsome bachelor in bbdc?
me: no...*feigns ignorance* who?
alex: me lah! you're so lucky to have me as your instructor man...
me: ugh...*pretends to puke*
alex: hey you watch chinese television shows?
me: no... i told you i'm english ed right? my chinese sucks.. i only watch some shows like that channel 8 7pm show..
alex: that means you dunno i'm acting on channel u right?
me: huh? really? i only know one channel u actor.. nelson chia. used to be my theatre teacher.
alex: orhhh.... i host a channel u gameshow.. good thing you don't watch channel u..
me: huh??? where got?
alex: i look like anybody famous? *tries to hint*
me: you mean like that bryan guy? bryan wong?
alex: YAH! nobody tell you meh?
me: ...*rolls eyes*

yeah.

haha. now. on to scary gary. he's the guy i dare not talk back to, don't know why. alex asked me today why i dare to talk back to him and not gary, and i gave some lame excuse about gary being married already, thus being nagged and henpecked enough at home, which excuses him from being nagged and pushed around by us, the trainees. but truth be told, gary's just scary.

gary: *flings open left passenger door on major road with cars zipping past* LOOK! your positioning is LOUSY! WHY CAN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?
me: urm... sorry. i'll try again.. it's so difficult..
gary: NO! it's NOT difficult! you just don't want to focus! *goes off on tangent explaining correct technique.. while i zone off again*

or..

gary: WHY did you keep right and let that motorcycle squeeze past you on the left?
me: ermmm.... i'm scared of hitting him!
gary: YOU SCARED??? YOU GAVE HIM SPACE TO SQUEEZE PAST! next time keep to the centre of the road! THEN he cannot get past you because there is NO SPACE!
me: ... *meekly like a mouse* okay.. sorry
gary: see he dare not look at us anymore! wah! P plate some more! show off right... dare not look at me anymore!
me: (sighs unhappily at my lousy driving)

occasionally though, gary will sit back and relax, pointing out various car models as well as vehicle types. it seems this guy has driven basically everything on four to eight wheels. he's driven tow trucks, container trucks, bikes, blah blah blah... but suffice it to say that he is quite determined in showing me the light.. or helping me get my driver's licence the first time round. alex too lah, actually. both of them are really quite nice to me, even telling me that if i should ever print out a slip without any of them listed on it, i can go to the instructors' office and ask for a swap. so far that hasn't happened, i've always got them except for maybe 2 out of the 17 times i've gone for lessons. and i've never paid for fixed group for either of them, and they're both in the silver category. so maybe i'm really quite blessed..

haha yup. quite a lengthy essay on these two, but really. they deserve it because i've spent so much (expensive) time with them.. and they've promised to treat me if i pass the first time round. which might not really be possible.. because i've gone barefoot the past few lessons, i've yet to find a comfortable thin-soled shoe for driving in. actually i should be the one treating them right? hmmm....