things just seem to be rushing along nowadays. i just took a look at my to-do list for the holidays a few days back, and i've not been able to accomplish even a fourth of that list. admittedly because my old steadfast philosophy that life never deals you what you expect or plan it to manifested itself very solidly, and so my current job prevents me from taking time out to reflect and learn and teach.

last night, one of my paternal granduncles passed away due to a heart attack. though i really can't say i was close to granduncle jimmy, i remember him as a cheerful, bubbly person who loved his family alot. my dad went to the hospital last night but came home before my granduncle passed away, and he told me that granduncle jimmy received Christ at around 7-8pm. sometimes i envy people who receive Christ before they pass away, they don't have the struggles a Christian has to face, the several more judgements, knowing the path we must tread but so frequently stray from. and then i think about my own faith, whether or not it's built on fear of the unknown and the fear of the earth's apocalypse. i guess it's partly so. but my belief in God is strong, and it cannot be eradicated easily. it's just that sometimes the fear overrules love, you know?

increasingly there seems to be more requests for prayer regarding church people and their medical situations. i don't know what God's plan is for these people, and sometimes i feel like it's wrong to just keep on praying for healing. what if it's not in God's plan for healing? i shall just pray for His presence to calm them and their families, and for peace, for protection from doubt and anger, negative thoughts. for acceptance in whatever happens, that He has not left them at any point in time.

i brought my girls to sentosa for a dg outing on sunday, and i was glad to be able to lie on the beach for awhile, just enjoying the sun and the feel of the sand. i fell asleep (duh) but you know, for once there wasn't any pressing worries to hamper my catnap. it was just good old plain fun and relaxation, knowing that nobody was on our backs for something, anything. and a good workout for my legs as well. walking climbing walking... i'm getting old! we went to watch the new fountain show. as usual it was tres cheesy, and the monkey and bouncing clown guy were auxiliary characters, we were only interested in the fountains, the laser lights and the fireballs. hopefully the whole outing bonded us all though, jiaen ming joanna melko mel.h yien and me. next time, we're getting rasa sentosa. sijori staff aren't really that nice, plus the pool's teensy. by next time, too, i can probably drive in. haha. am acting spoilt again. marshmallows at two am, anyone?