"perceiving life as a perpetual film."

well i'm now sitting at my workstation, all by my lonesome. today the people on my left and right are on leave, so i'm left by myself to decide whether or not to slack or to furiously work. and of course, right now i'm technically slacking, by updating my beautiful public on whatever's happened to me for the past however-many days.

well i went to watch the woman in black with my colleagues.. it wasn't really scary enough though for that night i kept envisioning a scarier version creeping up behind me while i brushed my teeth. suffice to say it was sound effects and lighting techniques that instigated the shocks and screams.. the plot itself was far more interesting... while perhaps it may be something we've all read about before, it's certainly something i've never watched in live theatre. go watch it if you can spare the moolah.

next, i went for that singapore idol thingy thing last wednesday and thursday... yup i got kicked out, am a bit sore about my circumstances but yeah, there's really no excuse for a poor performance i guess. aren't allowed to say more lest i get caught in a legal dilemma, and you people, the friends and family i've talked to about this matter, aren't allowed to leak it out either. haha. secrecy and such, clauses i've signed in some legal contract. bah. i think the competition brought out a bit of the bad bitch in me... haha. well perhaps not really bitchBITCH, but just someone who isn't afraid to talk about what irks her. and in case people think i'm too nice (haHA) to be a bitch, well, i've been trying to keep her behind bars since junior college. hopefully she never busts out.

i got my blue belt. so i suppose they must've been really right when they said the examiner didn't see my boo-boo at the end of the pattern. phew.

yesterday i had dinner with my university ushers group and the other teams too. a bit sad to see the seniors leaving just when we had begun to gum.. well life moves on. if you're interested in the photographs go http://www.photobucket.com and type solitarysinger in the album name, and type doodeedoo for the password. yup. it's just me and seniors lar, so it's not very interesting unless you just like to be a photo voyeur. we ate at prego, raffles hotel. grab the 1 for 1 pizza pasta deal while you can.. the offer ends 31st july. it's really not bad! if you can spare the pasta being not aldente enough, that is.

went to visit the CORS website just now. missed my round zero and now i realise i have no modules that i can bid for right now! how irritating. goooosfrabaaa.... people think nus is fantastic and everything runs smoothly without a hitch but ha. i laugh in their faces. thank goodness i don't have it as bad as my friend from poly though... supposedly she's in year 3 by now but they still think she's in year 2 cos' she only enrolled last year... ah well. glitchyparp.

my half nightmare on friday night:
i dreamt i was following a group of nameless people
following in a single file
a gut feeling told me it was something fearful illegal
didn't know what, didn't know where
just somewhere close to the sea

we were on a sheer cliff, protected by a thin wire fence
and suddenly my group veered hard left
and through a hole in the fence we went
single file.
without a barrier
straight down was the moonlit vast sea
what a drop it was!

and then we came to a gap in the pathway

chasmed deep. a high platform to a low one.

a faceless guy jumped first, and held his arms out for the rest to help
girls women kept going by and pushing me to the side
quietly i let them go on
never asserting my right to go first
perhaps they thought i was scared? i surely wasn't.

and then i woke up, and imagined the guy turning away, unseeing.
i realised i had to jump alone
without an encouraging pair of arms to catch me if i fell
my face smashed against the side of the white cliff
as i hurtled into the blameless sea.

so sean, that was it, my half-nightmare. not really a true one because i realise it was a dream that told me something about my nature, that sometimes i daren't speak up to strangers, i daren't cause trouble even when i'm at a disadvantage. perhaps it was a wakeup call to me. i had better be assertive next time. hmmm.