and when it matters, things work out. they really do.

i'm in joe's apartment (heh, sounds like that movie with the huge cockroaches huh) typing on his computer... it's been a whirlywind of two days of non-stop travel. well, kinda. i feel like i've concentrated so many experiences within the past two weeks that i hardly know where to start to update my beautiful public (yeah that means you *points at reader*).. been to new york city twice in 2 weeks, been to lake erie over the previous weekend and stayed at bohdan's place.

we start from yesterday, the hard goodbyes and the reason why my eyes still hurt.

i did cards for the people who mattered, though it took so much time and i really didn't have it, as a result of which poor darling angie my roommate (best roommate in the world - see, i didn't forget to mention your name!) has so many errands to do for me.. and normypoo as well.. he's gotta pay mil and sharon back for the twennies they lent me when i forgot to visit the atm. he's picking up extra novels for me to read while i travel... i'm halfway through arundhati roy's book already. okay, so see, on tuesday night i'm trying to pack.. 2am already and jiwonyboo and yeemeybaby come in to say bye.. they hand me jessybaby's little book of wisdom. i read it, start laughing like mad, collapse and burst out crying. i never knew myself capable of such trauma when it's not as if everyone around me's gone forever, never knew myself so sappy and full of tears. you'd think i'd be wrung out like a dishtowel after a day of crying but nooo... the body finds water in crevices of the heart. i keep the neon book inside my wallet... i know if i look at it again i'll cry buckets, so i don't. i do my laundry, and pack everything slowly but methodically, while angie gives up on staying awake with me and i pack till the dawn lightens but my head tells me i can take it no more.. and that i ought to sleep in my comfortable bed one more last time before it's time to go, take off the sheets and leave the bedpad on, take away the color that occupied my life for 4 whole months.

so i sleep from 730am to 10am.. berating myself for all the sleep i've gotten while i ought to have done other things. i visit the mail room and send a package to my darling yannypokes in redondo beach (sorry yins i didn't have the time to write a letter to go with it i shall do it soon... i was really busy and tag me when you receive the books)... send a package back home as well. too many things has this person with the gold bars. i weighed the suitcase in flushing, ny today and it was 94 pounds (hey mil it really IS heavier than sharon!)... so i brought only a small suitcase with me to iowa city.

took lunch with my closest buds in school... i'm so sorry i didn't have enough time to take one more last photograph with you guys.. but i really couldn't even eat the food stuck in my throat and everytime i looked at each one of you i couldn't swallow anything solid. right now i imagine each one of you looking back upon empty barren rooms, thinking about the good times we had, such good times they were! the memories will last forever, fresh photographs always, never fading in this mental scrapbook of mine. during the greyhound bus trip up (during which i passed by tussey mountain ski slopes all brown-colored and everything... *wistful sigh of remembrance of snowboarding days long past) from penn state to new york city, and during the two flights from la guardia to chicago o'hare and then on to cedar rapids, iowa, i played my mp3 songs over and over again. they remind me of spring break, bouncing in the car to the familiar tunes, they remind me of studying in washington lounge and in the 3rd floor mcelwain lounge with tons of food and warm hugs and love suspended like so many dust motes in the sunlight - cosy atmosphere. there's edwin mccain's i'll be (remember to keep that karaoke dvd norman), there's leann rimes please remember (which i sang as a voicemail to jessybaby and i wanted to post lyrics here but she beat me to it on her blog so go there to see how the song goes), there's the freshmen by the verve pipe and there's paula cole's i don't want to wait amongst other songs. the greyhound mix. the tears-inducing audio poison.

and once again i was high enough to see the cloudshadows.
like so many inkblots spreadstains across the tiny container trucks that looked like sticks of chewing gum stacked neatly in rows

got gail's and kim's letters in the mail just before i ran from pollock commons to my room to pack the final things.... fantastic timing gals. i shall write you two when i go on my summer travels... well actually i'm on my summer travels already, i'll write you in the week to come. anyway. i got picked up in a mercedes clk 500 (or was it 300?) and this wonderful wonderful couple aunty jasmin introduced me to in ny let me stay in their cosy basement for a night.. even brought me to dimsum this morning before my flight which i "tapao-ed" back to iowa. university of iowa is pretty nice, but quiet. the campus isn't as pretty as penn state, but the downtown nightlife is rockin'. went to play pool for awhile and there were so many groups of people dressed in matching tshirts going bar-crawling... totally nuts i tell ya. finals week is next week for them and they're busy getting drunk. some getting drunk while upside down. weird.

eyes are feeling sore. i'm going to get some rest. if you guys ever want to contact me, i'm accessible through my singaporean number or through my friend's number (from now till 30 may only! hahaa) at 319-3311-266. okay. i'm feeling kinda bad about how my luggage is spread out across the country.. about angie toting stuff back to pittsburgh.. normypoo carrying a novel and my vitamins from pennstate to toronto.. my hugeass mint antler in nyc. like at home where i couldn't stop the plague of hannahstuff from spreading from room to room... now i've infected US of A with my rubbish! haha.