when there is a big bed, the abysschasm is so much more keenly felt.

when you live together, there is nowhere to run but the next room.

when it is two months in, and you feel like you cannot breathe, something is wrong.

i don't have anyone to talk to but myself. i should keep all the words in and not let them spill out because they have so much destructive potential. and i can say them so blankly, without looking at your face and seeing the hurt there. i can say them while playing a game on the iPhone, and not touching you, because that is all we do these days. i can't stand the phone. i want to throw it away sometimes because it occupies so much of that dead space behind your eyes.

why must i be the one to go and find you and pull you back? is it because i know i have made other worse decisions in my mind, and you have only tried to do what's right?

i cannot breathe, and this is how i know why other people jump.